Weird Comix

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Broken1.png Someone (either the creator or the hosting service) pulled the plug on this webcomic. The links in this review are dead. If you want so see more of this webcomic for some insane reason, the Wayback Machine is your best bet. And even that's a long shot. Broken2.png
Original review author: The Luigiian
Webcomic name: Weird Comix
Author: Kyle Mistry
Start Date: May 22, 2005
Defining Flaw: Failed attempts at making violence funny.
Things that are fucking terrible about this webcomic: It's horribly violent, horribly drawn, and unfunny. Every comic ends with a character being violently mutilated or mauled. Said violence is supposed to be funny.
Things that aren't terrible but could use improvement: Thank you for ending this comic Mr. Mistry, but it would have been better had you just removed it from the Internet entirely. Seriously, it's that bad.

Rating Summary
Art: Wiki.png

Wow. Even if it weren't depicting violence, it's still irredeemably bad until the very last comics.

Storyline: Wiki.png]

Story of a violent serial killer, I guess.

Characters: Wiki.png

"Humorous" serial killer type violent bullshit plus invisible background characters.

Miscellaneous Details: Wiki.png

The artist does serious art. It's unbelievable that he draws something this horrid.

Overall: Wiki.png

Oh dear. This is indeed a grievous offense to my eyes, my sense of ethics, and my love (as it were) for humanity.



Background

Gratuitous violence, obnoxious Mac fanboyism, and lampshading the lazy art, ALL IN ONE PANEL!

There are a few moments in Kyle Mistry's magnum opus Weird Comix where the characters don't kill each other. In those cases, they are drunk, inane, bland, stupid, full of shit, and fucking nuts.

I halfway considered putting this turd into the Ninth Circle, but then I remembered the webcomic Electric Retard, which unfortunately is still on the Internet. This one gets bumped down because it wasn't as bad as a comic drawn by a pedophile whose every strip consists of Hitler mauling people with an axe and then defecating in their mortal wounds.

Even then, I could only move it down one circle. This comic is terrible.

Downfall

This comic always sucked. Probably Mistry's biggest mistake in writing it was in keeping it on the Internet. He knew it was bad, promised to quit making it, yet still left what he had up. Unfortunately, what he had - like I already said - rivals carnographic webcomics like Electric Retard in its violence and horrifically bad drawing quality. This webcomic is pretty much unreadable by anybody with above a first-grade reading comprehension ability.

Author Biography

Kyle Mistry's interesting in many ways, a Hot Topic reject in many others. His site lists "the creations of Kyle Mistry". Many of these works are very interesting. For example, his Masked Man, Man in Your Head and some of his work illustrating for other blogs is perfectly acceptable work. It's tolerable and well-done. His only real failure is Weird Comix.

Story

There isn't much of one. We're introduced to Mistry's Mary-Sue, who goes about violently dispatching people in the name of humor. Partway through, he goes camping and is found incapacitated in the forest. For most of the rest of the comic we're treated to Mistry's observations on various things I really don't care about, and somewhere down the line the whole mess just ground down on Mistry until he scrapped the project.

Art Review

This art is unviewable. It's awful. There's really not much else that can be said about the whole thing. He starts out very poorly, with a digitally-done style that a child could best. It remains insufficient at best for most of the comic. Eventually Mistry assumes a style similar to Ctrl-Alt-Del. By the end his work was very competent, and much of the failure of the early ones had been eliminated. But it was far too late to save Weird Comix. The comic ended here, unfulfilled and largely unloved.

Evolution of a horrible comic. See how it turns from some kind of anime/Rayman hybrid to Ctrl+Alt+Del.

Writing Review

Just because you acknowledge that you're an obnoxious dickhead, that doesn't make it okay to be one.

This is where the comic truly fails on a fundamental level. Mistry just couldn't tell a joke for the life of him. Every comic, save for a very rare exception to the rule, ended with violence.

  1. First comic: Lead character blows himself up. "Not dead... just incredible pain."
  2. Second comic: Fire throwing ninja. "At an anime convention, everyone's a ninja."
  3. Third comic: Lead character fires a shotgun at a blue monster in his tent.
  4. Fourth comic: Two characters get drunk. "You're a sexist retard... You're a nerd, shut up... Alcoholic... Screw you." No punchline. That's the last panel's complete text.
  5. Fifth comic: Secondary character attacks Apple computer.
  6. Twenty-first comic: Lead character goes insane, tries to make computer from a rock. Turns into werewolf, kills secondary character for suggesting he use Windows XP on an Apple computer.
  7. Thirty-third comic: Lead goes into future, makes quip about PS3 being delayed until June 2017. Next strip involves secondary female character in pink jumpsuit and pink horned Viking hat killing another character for no reason.
  8. Thirty-seventh comic: The Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore is on fire.
  9. Thirty-ninth comic: Ninja burns comic which attacks the Japanese cartoon series Naruto and Inuyasha.
  10. Fortieth comic: Lead character rips the head off a baby and releases bees on passersby.
  11. Forty-sixth comic: Santa Claus shoots people with laser beams.

Jesus, I can't go on.

Conclusion

This review was a nightmare to write, and I'm sure it's tedious to read, too. Such is the way with Weird Comix. It turns violence into a tedious, mundane, boring affair. It is so terrible, it could well be used to desensitize soldiers to killing and warfare. Its violence is overwhelming, its writing is mind-numbingly banal and its drawing quality is barely above a child's. It can safely be said that Weird Comix is as bad as it gets without putting a comic right into the Ninth Circle.

Links