User:Lt. Art Major

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GiantDouche.jpg WARNING: This user is a giant douche, even by internet standards. His behavior may include, but is not limited to: Rampant displays of racism, sexism, homophobia and/or other forms of bigotry and douchebaggery. May spew invective at editors, lurkers, authors and fans alike. Avoid real-life interaction as much as possible.

Bad Webcomics Wiki writer and editor. I do it for free fun.

About

I am neither a Lieutenant nor an Art Major. I just wanted a funny art pun.

I also have a slick website with nothing much on it that I don't feel bad about plugging. Ads may be NSFW but the site's content is not.

What people have to say about Lt. Art Major

This wiki is complete trash, admit it.
 -HaterofBadWebcomicsWiki, vandalized my user page to tell me this.
One of the resident wikispergs got pissy because nobody asked to create the article when their forum was down or broken. lol calm down, nothing I could do about it.
 -D.Va, conflated my request to not use wikipedia style references with my request to discuss this review with the rest of the users. In other news, she can't figure out how to use a forum and I got called a sperg by a Kiwi Farms user.

To Do List

Webcomic Reason Notes Status
IDK Comics It's how you don't make a gag a day webcomic Not updating anymore Finished
Band vs. Band It doesn't make any sense and doesn't have a point. Finished
Computer Love Vapid waste of space. I don't know how it has an audience. I found this comic a while ago. I noticed that someone else tried to review it, but failed and came across as more pretentious as the webcomic itself. Maybe I can help him out a bit. Writing
Homestuck By far the worst thing I have ever read. The most popular, highest grossing, and longest webcomic ever is a piece of shit. In pending for three more years.

Someone else nabbed it.

The Way To Your Heart None I heard there was a slick prize for reviewing. Up for grabs
Girl Genius I read the first swath of pages back in 2014. It's bad and I heard it doesn't get better. It's fucking long and droll. Maybe.
Tim and Garry The worst one yet. Uh Oh. Nah.
The Rock Cocks Brad and Leslie are hacks Brad and Leslie are hacks Brad and Leslie are hacks

I will consider doing this myself if it hasn't been claimed and it has finished.

Floraverse The concept is stupid and fucked up. I don't know anything about this webcomic. At least three people contributed to a review of this webcomic. I don't think they did a good job writing it, nor do I think they gave it justice. It probably needs a rewrite.

Working on right now

*Put links are broken sign here*
Original review author: Lt. Art Major
Webcomic name: Computer Love
Author: Ivy "Burgeroise" Jane
Start Date: Jan 21, 2013
End Date: On hiatus since Feb 29, 2016
Genre: Tries to tell a science fiction story through the lens of a slice of life character piece, but comes across as a psychological horror.
Defining Flaw: Genre, and lack of meaningful conflict.
Things that are fucking terrible about this webcomic: While wide shots look nice, the art is sketchy and distorted. There are some things that happen in this comic that are disturbing but never get pointed out.
Things that aren't terrible but could use improvement: The setting is cool, but tossed aside to focus on it's uninteresting citizens.
Summary: This webcomic made a city on an iceberg sound lame.

Rating Summary
Art: Wiki.png

It looks somewhere in between "fuzzy lined 13 year old on Deviantart" and "I took a class in highschool".

Storyline: Wiki.png

It feels like it's building up to something at the start, but later no one ever leaves their apartment.

Characters: Wiki.png

The story is told through pieces of furniture who wax philosophical in their dying days. My favorite one is the chair, because he is so sassy when it comes to the cabinets ego death antics.

Miscellaneous Details: Wiki.png

Title is misleading. The subplot about Fennette being a robot is dropped in the third chapter.

Overall: Wiki.png

This review was as fun to write as the webcomic was to read.




Background

I, like many people, strive to create the most purely original content whenever I can. I am going to break this mantra by lifting quotes from other reviews to illustrate what kinds of people enjoy this sort of read.

Unlike a lot of media written by cis, straight people featuring queer characters, this comic is nice (and realistic) in that it features a lot of us. As most regular Autostraddle readers probably already know, most trans and queer people have other trans and queer friends, and this comic shows that wonderfully. Fi and Hazel are trans, some other characters might start IDing as trans later on, and everyone can be considered pansexual according to the writer. It’s nice seeing an entire group of queer friends rather than just a token queer or queer couple. Plus, Jane writes them in a way that makes their queerness important, but not their only character trait.

-Mey, from Autostraddle

This person thinks this webcomic is realistic. The one about a city on an iceberg with free food is realistic. On another note, the author of this think piece thinks she can practice magic.

Ivy Jane’s Computer Love. Set in a future where genetically-engineered monsters called rats have overrun much of the Earth, the heroes of the story are… a plucky farmboy who finds himself on the front lines of the battle for humanity? A grizzled veteran with one last shot to defeat the rats once and for all? A nuclear family fighting to survive when their home is destroyed? A maverick scientist who has the answer if only someone would listen? Nope, nope, nope. CL is about a bunch of gay queers living in Antarctica and being homosexual with each other.

...neither does it fall into the thinky scifi trap of cold analysis or cynical moralism, using its events as parables for the reader. There’s no lesson, no grand “what if?” in CL’s premise (thank fucking god, tbh). Instead, it’s completely character-driven and grounded in the pathos of its cast.

Wisp, from YesHomo

This dude is prasing this webcomic for being as tame and unchallenging as possible. This webcomic is as vanilla and welcoming as it possibly can be, sacrificing nuance in character development and world building for a shallow tale of freeloaders living in a city in Antarctica[citation needed]. So no one is reading this webcomic looking for high art or sophisticated literature, but with that being said, why is it on the recommended reading list from Zack Morrison, a more or less well revered web cartoonist?

Do people think that this webcomic is good? Probably. Do people think that it's one of the best? That's concerning. If that's the case then the bar for "quality" in this medium is so dreadfully low that there is just no point in critique. Everything is a masterpiece. The Bad Webcomics Wiki is over. Enjoy your shitty medium. I'll see you down the street and around the corner trying to get the Bad Music Wiki off the ground so I can have something to do when I don't want to do anything.

Downfall

The downfall can be pinpointed over the course of two pages: The third one, where Lucy flies on a junkyard to Antarctica, which in spite of being developed five year prior, can distribute free food to its citizens, and the fourth one, which she had to make two of for some reason, which visually sums up the entire webcomic. Looking at these two pages should give you a feel for what a reader is going to be in for.

The comic takes a bizarre and irreparable nose dive on page eighty-eight, and continues to get worse and worse as the chapter goes on. It's so late in the webcomic that it doesn't really make a difference, but I think it deserves a mention.

Art review

The art in this webcomic is lazy. So lazy I won't bother telling you about it. I'll just make a slideshow showing you the "progress" Ivy has made as an artist.

You're supposed to draw the outlines, and then color in the panel, you goof! That's not to mention the ambiguous light sources.
Later, she improves her art by trying to color inside the lines.
Can you tell the difference between these characters?
With you by my side, tax dollars can be the only kind of dollars spent.
Looks better, but proportions are off. Are they still in Antarctica?
Art actually becomes sort of OK at the end. This panel has nothing to do with the rest of the webcomic.

Writing

Computer Love is a webcomic where everyone talks like a computer. Information is input through the ear and information is output out the mouth. It's very mechanical.

No one in this webcomic talks about anything happening right now. Everyone only talks about things they did in the past and things that they want and only might do in the future. This makes for a very passive story, which is fatal for a work of fiction of any kind. But this passivity squanders most in a character driven work. No one cares what's happening to these people because nothing is happening to these people. If only someone had a list of conflicts appropriate for this webcomic to use?

… a plucky farmboy who finds himself on the front lines of the battle for humanity? A grizzled veteran with one last shot to defeat the rats once and for all? A nuclear family fighting to survive when their home is destroyed? A maverick scientist who has the answer if only someone would listen?

Wisp, from YesHomo

These are some good ideas.

Computer Love is a parable about young NEETs walking from one apartment to the other and riding trains. That's it. This is one of the most boring webcomics of all time. I only take issue with how mundane this webcomic is because the webcomic takes place Antarctica. Sort of. It takes place in Antarctica, but nothing indicates Antarctica. Everyone goes on and on about great Antarctica is, but as far as I'm concerned there is no Antarctica. For one, it doesn't snow every day in Antarctica. Antarctica is a desert, which means it absorbs more water than emits. It snows maybe ten inches a year. Second, the sun doesn't set in Antarctica. From your perspective, the sun would stay above the horizon for six months (summer) and stay below the horizon for six months (winter). It doesn't set at a perpendicular angle to the horizon. The difficulty of surviving within that latitude of the earth aside, these are fairly drastic deviations from reality.

This misstep has lead me to considering one of two conclusions.

1. The author is a flat earther

2. The author is a shit world builder

The correct answer is obvious, but it's funnier to think it's one.

The city in Computer Love has a strange motif with free food. THE FOOD IS FREE except for the hamburgers. There is an explanation for that, and it's fucking weird. THE FOOD IS SOCIALIZED as long as you have a job and a house and pay your taxes on time. While most people would continue to wince on about how free food is stupid, I want to know how the food is free on an iceberg? There's so much that could have been explored with having your setting in Antarctica, but the story not only could have taken place anywhere else; it would make sense for the story to take place anywhere else.

There are some other FUTURE aspects of the city like virtual reality and hiring a boat. There are probably other things they did. One of the gang's favorite things to do was to dress up as animals and molest each other. Later we are informed that this is apart of Antarctica culture and the tall blonde lady gets molested by a short furry. I don't understand the point of this scene. I don't think it's fanservice because it's not remotely attractive. I hope it's not trying to be cute, because if it is that carries some creepy connotations.

So that's stupid, but then the webcomic gets retarded because on the very next page we are informed that the hamburgers which are not free are actually made of humans. OK. Why? There was no tonal build up to this. The build up was of furries laying on top of each other and then we learn that soylent green is people. This is stupid. Hamburgers are mass produced in the city. How many people are dying so that Antarctica can have a hamburger industry? I would be taking issue with the mortality rate in this city. How to they cover this up? Do they take dead dudes from other places and make them into burgers? Are some burgers dudes and some burgers not dudes? How does this work? How does anyone like this webcomic?

This subplot is dropped in the next chapter. Also the speech bubbles suck.

Author biography

Ivy Jane discovers a camera.

Ivy Jane is the fakest name ever created. She is a communist/furry/weeaboo, which are three of the worst kinds of people to ever grace this hollow and empty earth. In her free time, she likes to be edgy on twitter and work on another webcomic called Croquette Dragoon, which is the same thing but in space. It has nothing to do with coquetting or dragooning and you need to pay her to read it. Fund her internet welfare here. She was apart of an art group that sold a book called trans girl illuminati which you can buy for ten dollars. What a deal. Think about all the art you can buy for just ten dollars.

Her online presence is completely milquetoast and possesses nothing in the way of poor internet etiquette or intents of searching for trouble. Good job.

She made this webcomic because she wanted to showcase what everyone who wasn't a main character did in a sci-fi story. Now we know why no one was late to the punch.

In a complete stroke of irony, her tumblr is her most quality source of content. It's not saying much, but it's saying something. Feel free to psychoanalyse her through this assortment of macros and compilations.

Conclusion

I don't get the appeal. This webcomic is about nothing and even Seinfeld was about something. It's a long 110 pages of nothing happening. I would ask you to read it yourself but the webcomic has been taken down since I started the review.

I can't believe this has to be said. This is the only thing this has to be said for. Conflict is the soul of drama. It doesn't even have to be meaningful. Do not write anything this way. More importantly do not ever posterize as a meaningful character analysis. No one cares about you and your friends being you and your friends. No one wants to read a story about some dude and her friends living in a big city accomplishing absolutely nothing.

I don't even know why I wrote this review. No one is going to learn anything from this. The website is down so it can't be used as an example. I don't think it has a following anymore so they can't learn anything. This webcomic rests in a happy medium between obscure and found, so there's really no spectacle in bringing it up. I don't think the author can learn anything, because she amplified her mistakes in her new webcomic, which is takes place in fucking outer space and is still about mundane activities. What a fucking dump. F-.

Links

The website is down so I can't link anything important.

  • here is an eighties pop single about what this webcomic should have been about.