|here in the "Reactions" section.|
|Original review author(s):||oddguy|
|Author:||Joshua Benefield AKA "Hayakain"|
|Start Date:||February 5, 2010|
|End Date:||Ongoing, on a new website|
|Genre:||Shonen animu plot as depicted by naked cats|
|Defining Flaw:||It's a furry ecchi comedy... need I say more?|
The problem isn't how he draws so much as it is what he draws.
It's Key Quest with the cast replaced with that of TwoKinds. "Bad" can not begin to describe it.
There were characters in this comic? I actually had to look up their names because, despite reading this comic at least three times prior to and during the writing of this review, their names still didn't register with me. Both of them are bland stock characters. The boy has no personality, and the girl is just a pin up wrapped in a shag carpet.
The author claims he isn't a furry... lol.
I will never be able to watch Cats now...
The truth is that there are too many bad webcomics. If we began to review each and every one of them, the work would never end. Go to any free hosting webcomic site, look at its top ten list, and you will find that every single one is deserving of a review here, at least when it comes to the quality of their art. That is why here at the BWW, we must be more selective. And although hilariously insane and unintentionally offensive comics will have our priority, we must factor in other criteria when deciding what to review. The popularity of a comic and its creator's infamy must be taken into account.
For anyone unfamiliar with the story, this comic and its creator have gained considerable notoriety over the past week or so for embarking on some bizarre crusade to defend the honor of Tom Preston, and in the process, garner as much attention for himself as humanly possible. After this ill-advised fiasco, his own webcomic came under the spotlight and was revealed to be almost as bad as the one he was defending. Needless to say, this person is quickly becoming a laughing stock. Anyone who is uninterested in this immature drama can feel free to skip this review. Anyone who is equally uninterested in a disgustingly sexualized furry webcomic with a horrible formulated plot should do the same with the comic itself.
If you ignore this webcomic's anime-inspired cover, loudly warning you of things to come, and continue on to the comic itself, you will be greeted by a pair of oversized and misshapen cat tits by page six. If this still is not enough to make you do a U-turn and high tail it out of there, this may not be the website for you.
Plot and Writing
The plot is a carbon copy of every poorly thought-out anime knock-off ever. There is no need to go into detail about it any more than there is a need to bring a megaphone on your quest to go preach to the local church choir, so instead, here is a list of Anime tropes in the comic:
- The quest
- The bland main character who's somehow secretly special
- The hot chick who throws herself at the hero and he avoids her like her tits are made of fucking depleted uranium
- The perverted grandparent
- The sweat drops
- The nose bleeds
- Random inserts of cheesecake art, etc.
Here's the plot in a nutshell: a boy embarks on an epic quest to find his parents' killer and encounters an assassin whose job it is to kill everyone like him because they all have some kind of special secret power that he must discover, and he is accompanied by his big-titted friend with a mysterious past who wants to sleep with him but he refuses.
At least that is what the plot is meant to be about. The real plot goes more like this: TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, TITS, ASS, ASS, TITS.
That's more-or-less all of it. You can't go two seconds without running into another picture of borderline furry porn. As a matter of fact, I decided to back up my claim that the amount of fanservice in this comic is excessive (fan service? Who are we kidding? The only person this author is serving is himself), and I counted the number of pornographic and pseudo-pornographic pages in this comic and compared them to the number of pages that are not in any way sexual (or at least not blatantly so).
The results may (not) shock you.
If you count every page that features someone who is either fully naked or in the processes of getting naked, you get 22/60 pages. In other words: so far, over a third of this comic's pages include nudity. But that's not all. If you also count every page that also focuses on the female lead's tits or ass, the number jumps to 36/60. THAT'S MORE THAN HALF!. By the way, my definition of "page that also focuses on the female lead's tits" is essentially every page she is wearing something that barely covers her breasts and is seen from the neck down. In other word: every page she is in because she never wears anything but a strap of fabric to cover her nipples and a pair of panties (when she isn't already utterly naked), and the "camera" always seems to focus on her chest. In fact, you could say that every single page of the comic is sexual if you take into account the banner at the top of the comic that features a naked catgirl. So in a way, Ryogou bats a perfect 100/100 when it comes to nudity. An achievement that not even actual porn comics have been able to match.
And just for the hell of it, I should quickly mention the characters, not that there's really any point to it.
The male protagonist is Teo, a skinny kid who has no personality except for the fact that he runs away from sex with such crazed desperation that the only possible explanation for it is that he is amazingly gay.
The female lead is a cat whore whose watermelon-sized tits are impervious to gravity, and she will strip naked at a moment's notice, like a common prostitute. She is every introverted nerds' fantasy girl (if that girl was also a cat). An unrealistically sexy girl who wants nothing else but to sleep with the emo male lead, and will get naked for him for any reason or no reason at all. This fulfills the virgin nerds collective dream of having some girl who sees past their socially awkward exterior (their comic counterpart will, of course, be dark and brooding, and not ugly and pathetic like they actually are) and gives them the only thing they really want:
love sex (you are delusional to believe nerds are somehow more emotionally mature than other people like they like to think they are. If anything, they are less because never getting any prevents them from moving past that stage and growing up) without any need for them to do anything or risk getting emotionally hurt by approaching a girl themselves who might reject them. This would all be okay (actually, no it wouldn't) if the writer of this comic was a high school kid... but he is fucking twenty-four years old!
I will admit, I am not the most talented person out there, so I have instead asked a friend of mine to redline some Hayakain's work for me.
As you can see, the art is far from perfect. The pretty colors and gratuitous amount of tits may distract some people, but the rest of us will soon notice that the anatomy is ridiculously flawed. For one thing, the tits in this comic are so big, they make Las Lindas look conservative by comparison. The commentary has been made that Hayakain is essentially JollyJack with smaller boobs. Except JollyJack has at least some talent. The main mistakes you will notice, once you pry your eyes away from the giant breasts at the top of the matchstick-slim spine, is that Hayakain only knows how to draw from certain perspectives. Once he gets out of his comfort zone, the art gets much worse. For example, he has no idea how to draw a character in profile. Furthermore, he doesn't know how to draw men. He has spent so much time practicing his drawing of the female figure (and he continues to fail at it) that he has no idea how to draw a guy. So Teo has the figure of a woman with no breasts, as you can see in all the multiple times that he is nude.
Oh, about that! I advise you all to go to his Deviantart gallery and look at the rest of his "art". His gallery consists of 80% drawings of catgirls with 95% of their clothes missing. Every drawing is of a catgirl with just enough clothes on her to cover the genitalia. Just the nipples and as little as possible of her crotch for his drawing not to have to be categorized as pornnnnnnnnnnnnnn... NO THEY AREN'T! GO LOOK AT HIS (not so) SECRET PORN GALLERY! OR HIS OTHER (not so) SECRET PORN GALLERY! (look him up on e621 because I can't link to it anymore) Almost every drawing he has on DA is a censored version, with a full nude counterpart on another website. And the amount of fetishes he is into is amazing. Disregarding the obvious furry fetish, there is also: tickle fetish, bondage (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore), being molested by women (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore), an entire vore comic, sleep rape (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore), an unhealthy (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore) obsession with "Sally" from Sonic, AND (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore) GAY (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore) PORN! You know, considering his homemade homo-erotica, the fact that his (girly-figured) self-insert character reacts to naked women the same way a normal person reacts to being chased by a pack of angry gorillas, and the fact that he doesn't seem to know where a woman's genitals are located despite drawing them naked from every possible angle, the girls seem to have nipples but never anything between their legs (the link to e621 doesn't work anymore), like some race of fur covered Barbie dolls, it's very hard not to make any gay jokes... but I won't.
...I'll let you make your own.
UPDATE: Already new developments on this topic. It seems that I am not the only one to call his sexuality into question as a result of the aforementioned drawings. Regardless of his previous clams that he is "untrollable", he deleted the pictures in question when confronted with these accusations and claimed they were not his. This, of course, raises the question of why they were on his account then.
As I already mentioned, Hayakain came to everyone's attention when he attempted to defend the reputation of Andrew Dobson in a journal he wrote. This is despite the fact that Preston is a grown man who didn't need nor want his help, or the fact he later mentioned in one of his many arguments on the subject that he doesn't actually like him, and another instance where he didn't immediately recognize his name and then attempted to play it of as if it was some sort of satirical joke (it's pretty obvious it wasn't). Although these are slips of the tongue that were brought on by an excessive amount of bickering that made it hard for him to keep his (already unconvincing) story straight, they prove pretty decisively that those who accuse Hayakain of only doing all of this for attention are probably right.
The saga continued when a few of Preston's detractors came to Hayakain's page to try and convince him that he is wrong. He half-assedly stood his ground and proved to everyone he doesn't know what the word "style" means. Soon, he realized that he was getting the attention he wanted, but not in the volume he desired. But there was one ray of light: the thread about Tom Preston on the Encyclopedia Dramatica forums had caught wind of Hayakain and was making fun of him. Within moments, he posted a second journal daring anyone from Encyclopedia to come to DA and challenge him.
No one cared.
When he saw that this did not work, he began to repeatedly edit his journals with more and more provocative additions in a desperate plea for attention. And when he realized all this did was cause more laughter at his expense, he made an account on the forum and came to confront them himself
for thirty minutes, during which he only left nine comments, part of which were not even relevant to the issue and ran away back to his Deviantart page to declare himself victorious. When confronted with accusations that making an account on the forum to try and lure people over to fight him was just another act of attention whoring, he claimed that he did not go out of his way to make an account, but instead used his pre-existing account from two years ago. He was humiliated again when he forgot that 1) the forum, in its current incarnation, has only existed for a little over a year, and 2) his account clearly shows the date the account was made.
UPDATE: He came back to the ED forums to claim the timing of the deletion of his gay porn way purely coincidental, claimed the that they guy in the gay porn was a girl with no breasts and a penis, and argued that it's not porn as long as you can't see the penis. Then he made some more arguments that made no sense, declared again that he clearly won this argument (despite all evidence pointing to the contrary), and left.
Some members of ED then decided to actually go argue with him on his DA page and give him critique on his work. At this point, Hayakain exposed himself to be a master
debater at finding excuses to run away from an argument. For anyone who still wants to try and penetrate his iron clad logic armor, I have made this handy flowchart to save you some time:
With this never ending loop of circular logic, avoidance of valid points, and one-sided declarations of victory, he is able to continue fighting indefinitely, until whoever it is that he is talking to grows tired of jumping through hoops in an attempt to present their argument in a way to which he will actually be willing to reply, thereby never having to admit defeat in spite of everyone being able to see that he is an idiot.
The last thing I would like to say about him is that his decision to wage war against internet trolls is made even more baffling by how little effort he put into hiding his personal information and embarrassing details about himself (like how telling him he is a furry will make him rage in spite of his obviously visible furry porn gallery). I have never in my life attempted to "dox" someone, but simply entering his nickname into Google unleashed an avalanche of old personal accounts. It seems he has only been using one (maybe two) aliases for the past six years. In one of his old MySpace accounts, he mentions one of his hobbies as being "fighting the Anonymous gang". Yeah, good luck with that. I am sure they are all shaking in their boots.
Since this person has no intention of addressing criticism (no matter how much he asks for it), there is no point in confronting him with it directly. It actually makes more sense to criticize him where he is in no position to reply (although he will still probably comment about this on his journal if he ever finds out). So what I have to say is this:
This webcomic is a poorly-written, poorly-drawn furry porn festival. Its author is an attention-seeking twenty-four-year-old that looks sixteen and acts like he is twelve. The only connection I can see between him and Tom Preston is their mutual inability to deal with criticism, a field in which he somehow surpasses his idol. A few days after his little shitstorm, he proved he took all the criticism (that he was willing to accept) to heart by posting new art with the exact same mistakes he was called out for in the first place.
So, to sum up, this comic is bad. It will never improve.
In short: DO NOT WANT.
UPDATE: This comic is on Dark Blue Webcomics now.
- He's about to delete and reboot it so here is an archive of his old shame.
- And here is his DeviantArt. - If you are looking for more porn. But the really
goodvomit inducing stuff is at his...
- Look up hayakain on e621 for his porn gallery - Lovely stuff... *puke* (can't link to this anymore)
- Another bad review by someone on DA.
- Known Preston detractor "Ryandbl147" comments on the situation.
More info can easily be found by Googling his name.