Rival Angels

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Cheesecake.jpg
CODE YELLOW: CHEESECAKE
(MODERATE NSFW WARNING)

The following comic desperately wants to be porn without actually being porn. Contains more fanservice and fetish fuel than any actual sex, usually patterned off of bad harem comedy anime. It may not even have full nudity (at most may contain exposed boobs), but your teacher/parents/coworkers will surely give you some odd glances if they catch you seeing this. View with caution.

Cheesecake.jpg
Original review author: Forcedjapanesename, re-done by webkilla at the very start of 2021 because shit had been wiped ages ago
Webcomic name: Rival Angels
Author: "Albone" for artwork and Justin Riley for writing (maybe?)
Start Date: December 30th, 2007
End Date: Somewhere around 2018
Genre: "Action", Professional wrestling
Defining Flaw: Shameless objectification of women; Failing to convey the actions of the "sport" the webcomic is about; bad, bad writing.

Rating Summary

Art: Wiki.pngWiki.png

The artist clearly knows how to draw, but fuck me if it not wasted on the most stilted and wooden action sequences ever!

Storyline: Wiki.png

This is American wrestling drama. It makes no sense, and of course the good guys ALWAYS win.

Characters: Half.png

There are no characters, only stereotypes.

Miscellaneous Details: Half.png

Never has a webcomic about people kicking and punching each other looked so boring.

Overall: Wiki.png

You would need to stride boldly across the African plains, and then stick your tongue up the ass of a diseased water-buffalo, in order to experience the taste of retch this reviewer feels for how bad this webcomic is.



Background

Unknown. This webcomic was reviewed back when the BWW was on Wikidot, but the content didn't survive the transfer.

Early 2021 webkilla came across the review while pushing the Random Page button - and thus... well... shit is bad, still needs a review.

Downfall

This is American Wrestling drama, as drawn by someone who clearly spends more time fapping to his own artwork instead of writing good stories.

Story and Plot

If you're not familiar with American wrestling - then... well, good for you. It's terribly silly, though I'm sure it can be fun too. Thing is, it is of course entirely staged.

This webcomic fails to acknowledge this. This comic tells its wrestling story about an up and coming new wrestling prodigy Ultragirl, who fights in the women's league called "Rival Angels" - but it treats the usual on-screen wrestling drama as real life drama in the comic's setting.

This means that when a group of "evil" wrestlers assault Ultragirl outside of a nightclub that "grudge" is settled in the ring, instead of you know... calling the fucking police. To this end, the setting makes no fucking sense what so ever. Realism went out the window from the get-go. Indeed, the problem with the webcomic not actually acknowledging or at least lamp-shading that this is either all staged, or not how real life works, makes it really hard to take accidental implied nudity or accidentally dating another team's referee seriously. At one point, a Ultragirl is dating a heel and a child spots them at a restaurant - where they then pretend to get into a fight. It's as if the webcomic can't quite make up its mind whether the characters know it's all pretend, or if it's a comic setting where wrestling drama is the reality. Because the club-assault would say its one, while the restaurant reveal says the other.

Suffice to say that the "drama" in the comic is hilariously forced, with face-heel turns in the middle of fights straight out of... well... American wrestling. It's stupid shit for stupid shit's sake - and with the webcomic being unclear on whether the characters are in on it or not, then its really fucking hard to take any of it seriously.

To this end there's no real point in talking about the plot. It's all "oh hey, your next fight is against wrestler X, or team Y, they sure look tough" and then hey it looks like Ultragirl and her friends might lose, but nope, they win in the end - rinse and repeat. It just goes on and on... with the odd bit of drama happening behind the scenes when not in the ring.

The story ended with Ultragirl, surprise surprise, winning some big fight - and after that Albone just started making pin-ups

Art review

The art is... well, towards the end its ok?

Early on in the webcomic you get weird hands, fucked up faces like in the last panel here, and obviously traced artwork like in the second-last panel shown here. Also, behold the glory of Simpsons-skin.

Additionally, the panel structure is quite often a mess, and for a webcomic about wrestling fights, you'd think that the artist could do action well? No, he cannot. It doesn't even get better with time, just look at how frozen these poses come off as. For a webcomic a about wrestling, this lack of a sense of motion in the artwork makes fight sequences look incredibly disjointed. How did they go from panel 2 to 3 there? Later on in the comic the artist starts doing these half-faded images to sort of give the impression of motion but even that sucks balls. Also, behold the glory that is blow-up doll face in the top right corner here.

A page from a fight sequence in the middle of the webcomic. Can you tell how the action went from one panel to the next? I guess it helps if you're a wrestling fan who knows the moves

.

And lets be honest here: A wrestling comic where the action looks like frozen snapshots with no real sense of motion is absolute shit. This kills the webcomic. No wonder the artist just posts lewd wrestling pinup on his Patreon these days, instead of making comics.

Writing review

The writing is trash. Forced drama for drama's sake, with paper-thin characters that have no depth. The bad guys (the 'heels' as they're known in wrestling) are evil just because they evil, and the hero girl is good because... good? There's the slut who bangs management to stay in the game, there's the stereotypical Asian girl called "lil dragon" and so on.

It's basic bitch teen drama, with people getting upset at each other for no reason, villain wrestlers being villains because... that's just what they do - the slut talking about how she had to blumpkin her way out of the training league, and endlessly repetitive gags where Ultragirl gets ambushed with a folding chair after almost every fight she wins.

It's not original, it's not really funny, and the good girl ALWAYS wins and the bad girls always loses. It's boring and predictable writing.

Author biography

So who is this Alan Evans AKA Albone AKA "I would likely drag my dick through a mile of glass shards to have a female wrestler fart in a walky-talky to me"

No clue, but he claims to be a long-time wrestling fan, who is also into MMA and UFC. It's a bit unclear if Albone does both art and writing, because in the about page a Justin Riley is also mentioned, where it says that this other guy does "the written word" - so a fair bit unclear who does what exactly.

Judging by the Rival Angel's Patreon, which at the time of this writing only has 38 patrons, then not that many other people care to get to know these two jokers.

Cumclussion

Looking at Albone's DeviantArt, which is full of wrestling girl pinups (where they're wearing arguably less than the girls in the comics) then it's pretty damn clear what Albone really wants. This shit is fap-bait, and its niche fap-bait at best. Explains why the webcomic is shit too. There might not have been other wrestling themed webcomics when this one was started, but nowadays there are those that look far better, though they might not contain nearly as much fap-bait. Go watch Naked Attraction if you want low-effort porn.

Links

Albone's DeviantArt page