|Original review author:||BlueDude11 (with one point taken from Phlaor)|
|Webcomic name:||Motherfuckin' Mario|
|Author:||Freak Comics or Blutorse or bLuToRsE or whatever|
|End Date:||2006 (thankfully)|
|Defining Flaw:||There is no comedy, just a load of "offensive" elements dumped into one horrible mish-mash of sprites. The art is also terrible, and, put bluntly, there is no reason for this to exist. At all.|
I came across the webcomic from the "So Bad It's Horrible" pages on TV Tropes. It says that it was "eye-searingly ugly" and that "there are no punch lines in sight [...] just pure, condensed, unfiltered offensiveness from start to finish." Taking a look at it, they're spot-on.
It was always bad. It never improves, aside from the marginal improvement from ugly Mario 1 sprites to less ugly Mario 3 sprites. That's it.
Story and Plot
There's no plot. For posterity's sake, I'll recap the seven comics here.
Mario Episode 1: Mario kicks Luigi in the balls, then Bowser tries to get Peach to suck his dick, Mario ends up covered in semen, and finally Bowser's dick explodes from all the drugs he took.
Mario Episode 2: Luigi smashes head-first into a block, and Wart urinates on his corpse.
Sonic Episode 1: The first and only non-Mario strip has Sonic stop Robotnik/Eggman's cocaine factory by sucking his dick.
Mario Episode 3: After picking on a Koopa, Luigi gets his head bitten off by a bigger Koopa while Mario simply laughs at his misfortune.
Mario Episode 4: Luigi dates a Birdo, then uses an exploding collar on her.
Mario Episode 5: A "very special episode", Larry gets into Bowser's Viagra and his penis explodes. Like father, like son, I guess...
Mario Episode 6: Mario tricks an annoying fanboy of his named "Mini Mario" (which is really just his small form) into dying.
That should tell you everything you need to know.
It's just terrible sprites and cheap MS Paint effects. Nothing to say.
Noticeably, there's a "special edition" of the first comic, inexplicably displayed right underneath the original strip. The implications of this are rather staggering - he thought the first comic could use improvement, but rather than try to actually alter the writing to in some way make a joke, he just alters the sprites and calls it a day. Absolutely brilliant.
Now we're getting interesting. The writing is like the earlier, cruder seasons of South Park robbed of whatever wit, humor, or enjoyment to be found in them. The characters are all unlikable assholes, and though an exception could be made for Luigi, the token butt monkey, he quickly devolves into another unlikable asshole before long.
In fact, there's no humor at all. Just offensive gags about dicks, blood, piss, and the like. It's mindless drivel which could only be conceived by a twelve-year-old.
No one knows who "Freak Comics" or "Blutorse" or whatever is, though I could hazard a guess that he was some 12-year-old kid that tried to make a webcomic and got bored of making it very quickly.
Motherfuckin' Mario is a terrible sprite webcomic that runs solely on offense. That's about it.