Motherfuckin' Mario

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Broken1.png Someone (either the creator or the hosting service) pulled the plug on this webcomic. The links in this review are dead. If you want so see more of this webcomic for some insane reason, the Wayback Machine is your best bet. And even that's a long shot. Broken2.png
Original review author: BlueDude11 (with one point taken from Phlaor)
Webcomic name: Motherfuckin' Mario
Author: Freak Comics or Blutorse or bLuToRsE or whatever
Start Date: 2006
End Date: 2006 (thankfully)
Genre: "Comedy", Sprite
Defining Flaw: There is no comedy, just a load of "offensive" elements dumped into one horrible mish-mash of sprites. The art is also terrible, and, put bluntly, there is no reason for this to exist. At all.

Rating Summary
Art: Wiki.png

Terrible sprites ripped from a bunch of old video games.

Storyline: There is none.
Characters: Wiki.png

The characters are all unlikable dickheads or exploited horribly for "comedy".

Miscellaneous Details: Wiki.png

There are a number of elements of Web 1.0 in the site - autoplaying MIDIS, a view counter, and the home page stating that the site is under construction... but it was made in 2006.

Overall: Wiki.png

Simply wretched in every way possible.




Background

I came across the comic from the So Bad It's Horrible pages on TV Tropes. It says that it was "eye-searingly ugly" and that "there are no punch lines in sight [...] just pure, condensed, unfiltered offensiveness from start to finish." Taking a look at it, they're spot-on.

Downfall

It was always bad. It never improves, aside from the marginal improvement from ugly Mario 1 sprites to less ugly Mario 3 sprites. That's it.

Story and Plot

There's no plot. For posterity's sake, I'll recap the seven comics here.

Mario Episode 1: Mario kicks Luigi in the balls, then Bowser tries to get Peach to suck his dick, Mario ends up covered in semen, and finally Bowser's dick explodes from all the drugs he took.

Mario Episode 2: Luigi smashes head-first into a block, and Wart urinates on his corpse.

Sonic Episode 1: The first and only non-Mario strip has Sonic stop Robotnik/Eggman's cocaine factory by sucking his dick.

Mario Episode 3: After picking on a Koopa, Luigi gets his head bitten off by a bigger Koopa while Mario simply laughs at his misfortune.

Mario Episode 4: Luigi dates a Birdo, then uses an exploding collar on her.

Mario Episode 5: A "very special episode", Larry gets into Bowser's Viagra and his penis explodes. Like father, like son, I guess...

Mario Episode 6: Mario tricks an annoying fanboy of his named "Mini Mario" (which is really just his small form) into dying.

That should tell you everything you need to know.

Art review

It's just terrible sprites and cheap MS Paint effects. Nothing to say.

Noticeably, there's a "special edition" of the first comic, inexplicably displayed right underneath the original strip. The implications of this are rather staggering - he thought the first comic could use improvement, but rather than try to actually alter the writing to in some way make a joke, he just alters the sprites and calls it a day. Absolutely brilliant.

Kommek zps807a8ddc.gif

Motherfuckin' hilarious - NOT!

Writing review

Now we're getting interesting. The writing is like the earlier, cruder seasons of South Park robbed of whatever wit, humor, or enjoyment to be found in them. The characters are all unlikable assholes, and though an exception could be made for Luigi, the token butt monkey, he quickly devolves into another unlikable asshole before long.

In fact, there's no humor at all. Just offensive gags about dicks, blood, piss, and the like. It's mindless drivel which could only be conceived by a twelve-year-old.

Author biography

No one knows who "Freak Comics" or "Blutorse" or whatever is, though I could hazard a guess that he was some 12-year-old kid that tried to make a webcomic and got bored of making it very quickly.


Conclusion

Motherfuckin' Mario is a terrible sprite comic that runs solely on offense. That's about it.

Links