Kirby's Fan Mail

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Original review author: JJW Mezun
Webcomic name: Kirby's Fan Mail
Author: Starla "Hatkirby" Insignia
Start Date: October 25, 2006
End Date: Hasn’t updated since September 2009.
Genre: Sprite comic.
Defining Flaw: Um... what the fuck is going on in this comic?

Rating Summary
Art: Wiki.pngWiki.png

MS Paint sloppiness abound!

Storyline: Wiki.pngWiki.png

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Characters: Wiki.pngWiki.png

Kirby possesses no personality, unless you include being hungry and jumping on your head as personalities; and they aren't.

Miscellaneous Details: Wiki.png

That Shimi's Warning bull shit was really retarded.

Overall: Wiki.png

I laughed, I cried; both were for the wrong reasons.



Background

I was planning on mocking Bowser's Plan B, but its creator plans on fixing his mistakes (although I'm sure the "fixed" versions will still suck based on the few he fixed), so I am not sure whether or not I should rant against it. Fortunately or probably unfortunately I remembered this jewel of a comic.

Downfall

The comic degenerated from a harmless germ of dishumor to a plague of just... I don't even know what. Somewhere down the line "Hatkirby" spiraled down into deep insanity.

Story and Plot

There exists no plot. Nothing. It is just Kirby reading the mail his mentally deficient fans send him and making un-funny responses to them. And these responses are not just not funny, they don't even try. In fact, I'm beginning to believe that the author of this mess tried her damn hardest to ensure that no comedy seeped its way into the comic.

Art review

It's a sprite comic and she still fucks it up. Take for example, take this bed, with it's perspective dip-shittery, or Kirby crying blue, MS Paint spray paint vomit? And nothing shows quality like the shitty-ass word-bubble tails this webcomic contains--a clumsily scribbled black or white line of the MS Paint brush tool. Brilliance personified.

No, Kirby, don't even think about resuming this atrocity!


Writing review

Seriously, is this person on drugs? Because some of these jokes don't make any sense.

This comic is similar to Family Circus. After reading the comic you'll ask yourself "What was the joke?", because literally no joke could be found. You could search every one and zero of this damn comic and still come away with nothing. You'd have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a suitable joke in this comic.

Here is just a list of this comic's highlights:

Take for instance, his latest masterpiece, "Parents". Here's a fun tip, "Hatkirby": random Photoshop filters do not constitute a sufficient punch line. I'm still not sure what that is supposed to be, but judging by many of the other comics, it most likely possesses no logical justification at all.

Oh, I love this comic. Do you get it? He's spouting out a plethora of random words. How hilarious! Hey, listen to this great joke I wrote: lemon cheese pumpkin plate piano virus corn nose apple table phagocytic history note!

And what the hell happened here? Is there any reason why Kirby and whoever that yellow douche bag is are talking about Lilo and Stitch? They could have cut that whole part out and not ruin the joke at all--probably because there is no joke and because you could not make this comic worse if it was nothing but these two fucking each other in the mouth.

stupid, dumb, waste of bandwidth, Jesus... I'd gone through barely more than the latest ten comics and already found a shit-load of, well, shit. If you're daring, you could try playing a drinking game in which you took a drink for every comic that did not end in a logical joke--if you want to die from alcohol poisoning.

Her best is probably this comic. Who in their right mind makes a comic which is simply text telling you that the real comic is somewhere else? Let's not even get into how border-line brainless making an image of only text is, especially when regular text not only would waste less time to load, but you would also be able to highlight the text and copy and paste it into the address bar, which would not be possible with images. As an extra fuck you, because Hatkirby really worked hard to make this one as much of a train wreck as possible, the God damn URL does not work--the file does not exist. That literally makes this comic absolutely fucking useless.

Are you sick of this random digressing constantly done in this section? Good; now you know how I feel reading this comic. While each strip shouldn't necessarily be connected logically, what happens within an individual strip should. It’s akin to the sprite comic version of Tourette's Syndrome.

Conclusion

If I wanted to end this article in a Kirby's Fan Mail fashion I would simply type in random words, maybe add in some random images for no reason. However, I won't, because it would be some big shoes to fill to attempt to be as idiotic and un-funny as this comic--no matter how hard I try.

Links