Ansem Retort

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Broken1.png Someone (either the creator or the hosting service) pulled the plug on this webcomic. The links in this review are dead. If you want to see more of this webcomic for some insane reason, the Wayback Machine is your best bet. And even that's a long shot. Broken2.png
Original review author: Long Tom
Webcomic name: Ansem Retort
Author: Ben "Duke" Kahan
Start Date: Uncertain; the author doesn't put dates on his strips.
End Date: Not updated since late 2012. Site no longer exists.
Genre: Sprite webcomic, "Reality show" spoof
Defining Flaw: A one-joke comedy that repeats itself far too often.

Rating Summary

Art Wiki.png

Lazy sprite art. Need I say more?

Storyline: Wiki.png

The characters of Kingdom Hearts move into a reality TV show mansion; the story is divided into eight "seasons".

Characters: Wiki.png

Based on the characters of the Kingdom Hearts scenario. Reportedly the characters in this webcomic do not correspond properly with the canon Kingdom Hearts equivalents.

Miscellaneous Details: Wiki.png

A gazillion jokes about video games, television, and homosexuality; the cast attacking each other, as well as their enemies; and little else.

Overall: Wiki.png

Basically, this is a one-joke webcomic. You can laugh at the clichés and foolishness of video games, and it's funny... for a while. But then the webcomic keeps repeating itself and turns into a bore-fest.


This webcomic is based on the Kingdom Hearts game series, which I am completely unfamiliar with. Which is just as well, for I can review this on its own merits (such as they are).


This webcomic always sucked.

Story and Plot

The webcomic is divided into eight "seasons" of a reality television show.

Axel, a very nasty guy, is summoned to report to a reality TV show mansion, as are a group of others. Axel is assigned Marluxia as a roommate, Zexion has no roommate, Namine has a fangirl roommate who speaks only "l33t". The house members are tasked with fighting a demon invasion. The battle begins...and continues...and the show has a celebrity visit from Darth Maul! There are battle casualties, but those are quickly healed. The characters also take time to insult each other and make fun of video game clichés.

But that was just Season One. What about Season Two? Oh. But then there is Season Three, and Season Four, and... oh, there is going to be a marriage in Season Five? And in Season Six, things are looking grim. There is a new quest in Season Seven, and in Season Eight, there seems to be no real story.

The author indicated that this comic would have no finale. So far, there have only been these eight "seasons".

Art review

I liked the Monty Python jokes better.

Sprite comics are inevitably the same trope: computer-generated characters on top of computer-generated backgrounds, with typed word balloons. From frame to frame, everything usually stays the same, with little or no expressions or movements on the characters except when absolutely necessary for whatever the joke is. At least in this scenario, the characters show more movement than in a normal sprite comic...which isn't saying much.

Writing review

I confess I only skip-read through this thing, but no matter where I went, I basically found a plethora of homosexuality jokes, gamer jokes, television jokes, violence jokes, and just plain silly jokes. There's no build-up; it's basically like watching a series of Tom and Jerry jokes without the accompanying animation, and everything gets more repetitive as time goes on.

Author biography

Found nothing on him.


It's a one-joke comedy, and the joke gets old fast.


  • TVtropes article Would you believe this webcomic got such a big listing on TV Tropes?