Mobius Adventure Comic

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Rating Summary

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Background
Being a long time member of DeviantArt, I’ve come across several comics: some good, some bad, some absolutely un-noteworthy, and some amazing stuff. One day I was searching through someone’s Favorites gallery, came across this page, and knew I had to read the rest of it. This is the Mobius Adventure Comic.

Downfall
When the flashback started. Keep reading to see what I mean.

Story and Plot


We begin our tale on page 223. Why? Because that’s what the earliest page I could come across is labeled. I mean, seriously. I searched as hard as I could and I couldn’t find Pages 1 to 222 ANYWHERE. But this is the least of this comic’s worries, so let’s ignore it.

The comic starts off with swearing and awkward dialogue. Who is this off-blue Sonic clone? Why was he in handcuffs and trying to save some chick named Eva? Who knows? That doesn’t stop him from falling into a pit and becoming potential Echidna food… Because Echidnas apparently eat hedgehogs…? Whatever. Let’s move on.

If this comic didn’t let you know it would be an OC Fest, it sure does on page 2—I mean page 224. Now, before I continue, I’d like to play a little game I’ll call “Spot the Mary-Sue”. Since there are so many different OCs in this comic, a Mary-Sue has gotta pop up at some point.

Could it be the Sonic Clone guy? He’s later revealed to be Sonic’s identical, non-canon twin, and probably “inherited” the same speed. Hmmm… Nah. What about one of these five new faces on page 224? The pink one seems like a stereotypical “mother figure” in adventure stories. The skunk is kinda annoying, I guess, but he seems more like a smug kid type, so he’s a pass. Green girl shows up in one frame, but doesn’t say anything. The yellow female hedgehog though…let’s keep an eye on her.

Since the next two pages are out of order, we’ll have to do a bit of searching here. The next page is in black and white for some reason. Now the previously yellow hedgehog has a line of dialogue, and here’s where we can start convicting her. So, how does she check out? Well, she seems to think she can kick Robotnik’s butt, is made to look more of a hero than Sally, is the character the comic artist herself refers to herself as (or used to in the Artist's Comments)… Do we have our winner? No, the comic can make a Mary-Sue worse than this. Let’s keep looking.

The comic jumps back to color again, and we see that Sonic is tied to a tree, surrounded with Echidna natives. Again, not explained. Sonic’s clone—I mean “twin”, comes in as a hostage, even though there’s only one guy he could probably overpower. Blah blah blah, badly translated comedy. Next page, the shading disappears and we get another new character—Kratos the Hedgehog. Okay, that’s not his name, but that’s basically who he is…only much lamer. The next page is in black and white again, and the art stays this way for most of the rest of the comic. There, it is revealed that this warrior dude is…I can’t even type this without facepalming…Sonic and Sonic Clone’s dad. Like I said—much lamer version of Kratos. Could he be our Gary-Stu? He’s Sonic’s dad, has this whole warrior thing going on… Okay, no. As dumb as he is, let’s keep going.

Sonic and Sonic Clone ask why Kratos the Hedgehog hasn’t been in their lives until this point, and then Kratos the Hedgehog begins a flashback. And THIS is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, problems in this comic. Remember how these guys were surrounded by natives who WANTED TO EAT THEM? Yeah, this comic doesn’t either. And this isn’t some two page flashback either. IT LASTS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE COMIC.

Okay, so, apparently Sonic and Sonic Clone were princes because why the heck not, and Kratos was a king that looked at porn.



Kratos’s right hand man comes in saying something about Echidnas invading, then cuts to his brother who is OPENLY EXPERIMENTING ON HIS CHILDREN. FATHER OF THE YEAR, EVERYBODY!

I would play “guess who the Mary-Sue is” with this guy, but he’s blatantly rockin’ the “I’m the villain” look, so just pass. Actually, this guy’s our main character, kinda. Yeah. I thought it would be Sonic’s Clone, that yellow hedgehog Eva, or actually, you know, Sonic, but nope! It’s a Robotnik Hedgehog wannabe.

Anyway, the Queen’s maid walks in and tells Robotnik Wannabe off for having kids in the laboratory, and storms off with them. And, no, she’s not in a high enough position of power to be the Mary-Sue. Kratos then tells her not to be so hard on his evil scientist brother EVEN THOUGH HE WAS NOT-SO-SUBTLY EXPERIMENTING ON HIS KIDS!

So, Robotnik Wannabe gets a device working that is directly hooked up to the Chaos Emerald. Science happens, and out pops an exact lookalike of the hedgehog we saw before the flashback started. Could…could it be? Is SHE our Mary-Sue? Let’s see…she is a physical manifestation of the Chaos Emerald, takes on the appearance of Robotnik Wannabe’s sexual fantasies, every guy hits on her, and all the women hate and distrust her? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER! LET’S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR LILITH!

Anyway, Robotnik Wannabe instantly starts having sexual fantasies about her.



Also, these include fantasies that EVERYONE AROUND HIM IS DEAD. Because when I think Sonic, I think of Robotnik Wannabe’s coworkers and family hanging from nooses. Anyway, Robotnik Wannabe snaps out of his hallucination, and the Mary-Sue decides to toy with him because…she’s bored, I guess?

Look, I’m going to have to start skimming if I’m gonna get to what I wanna talk about, but if you read this comic yourself, you can see there’s a LOT to rip apart in every page.

The next hundred or so pages follow a pattern. Lilith does something Robotnik Wannabe disapproves of, Echidnas attack, Lilith saves the day via her Mary-Sue Powers, the lovers bicker, "romantic hi-jinks" ensue. Lilith does something Robotnik Wannabe disapproves of, Echidnas attack (at the end of a “romantic” montage), Lilith saves the day, she gets absorbed back into the Chaos Emerald, is brought back without explanation, the lovers bicker, “romantic hi-jinks” ensue. All of this is done with pervy scenes and random flashbacks sprinkled throughout.

Oh, also, Robotnik Wannabe manipulates King Kratos to get the Queen’s Maid demoted because she punched him in the face. Also, this old guy who is kind of a father figure to Robotnik Wannabe is introduced in a flashback and won’t go away.

Occasionally, while reading this, I remember that this is all just a flashback that Kratos Wannabe is telling his kids. I wonder how that looks?



Anyway, perhaps the most important and revealing flashback in the entire comic is one an Echidna has while he’s sitting on a rock in an empty field. Again, this is all just a flashback Kratos the Hedgehog is telling this to his sons. (What? Does he have long range telekinesis powers or something?) So, in said flashback it’s revealed that King Kratos the Hedgehog and Robotnik Wannabe’s Mom was an archaeologist/mad scientist and took the Chaos Emerald from the Echidnas, promising to return it. Okay… Problem. If their mother was an archaeologist, then how did her son BECOME KING?!

When these two idiots FINALLY get together, the comic changes back into color for one page, and then Robotnik Wannabe shows off his robot collection because of course he has a robot collection, and then flees because he’s a wuss. Next scene, Rouge the Bat reveals yet another new character: Professor Sly. Lilith shows up, shows off her Mary-Sue Powers, blah blah blah.



Later, Lilith and Robotnik Wannabe start literally falling all over each other, and then they…oh my gosh, this is getting hard to type…make love, complete with Strawberry Lingerie.



I just…I just…I need a break. I’m sorry.



Okay, I’m back after a good night’s sleep. Now where were we?



Oh… …Right… Sigh. The next day, Lilith screams at a public pool that she and Robotnik Wannabe “#$@#”ed, but the comic's terrible grammar makes me fill in the wrong swear word every time. And it’s around here where I start wading into unknown territory for the first time. Also, Professor Sly is probably Robotnik Wannabe and King Kratos the Hedgehog’s dad. Not really something I didn’t see coming, but I just thought I should bring it up now. Next scene, Lilith tries to kill King Kratos. I say “tries” because she obviously failed otherwise he wouldn’t be telling this flashback right now.

Speaking of which, I wonder how that’s going.



Anyway, he wakes up, naked, and surrounded by natives who want to eat him, but they keep him alive because of his status. So…Lilith was about to chop off his head, but then just strips him and hands him over to the enemy? What? Was lowering the sword too hard for her? It then dawns on King Kratos that maybe the brother with evil sunglasses and mustache, who experimented on his infant children, created a living weapon, and left him to die, MIGHT BE EVIL!

Lilith tells Robotnik Wannabe that King Kratos is dead. He seems sad at first, but after a page of remorse, he gets over it. Next scene shows Professor Sly sitting in his office and OH MY GOSH, HE HAS STATUES OF HIMSELF! AHAHAHAHA! THIS GUY IS SO UNABASHEDLY EVIL, IT’S GREAT!

Anyway, the Queen is losing the will to live, and I’m losing the will to care because she was never really developed. Robotnik Wannabe and Lilith take over as King and Queen with barely any resistance. Then, apparently, two months pass. Cut back to Kratos, who begs to an Echidna for permission to see his family again. Professor Sly then bursts through a wall, shoots the Echidna, and points his gun at the King like a psychotic maniac! Ladies and gentlemen, I think I just found my favorite character.

Some more dumb happens that I’m skipping, and then Robotnik Wannabe almost crowns himself king. (I’m still confused as to how Kratos managed to get to that status in the first place.) Anyway, Kratos enters all dramatically, before the story cuts to Sly doing what Sly does best. Then the comic becomes properly grey-toned for the first time. Lilith reveals she was evil all along…which we already knew. Lilith tries to kill the king before…oh my gosh…she is stopped by her good half…or something. And this is Eva. Our second place winner in the “Spot the Mary-Sue” game.

OH THANK HEAVENS, IT’S OVER! I mean…uh… That’s where the comic has stopped, for now. The last page was posted on September 5, 2014 so HOPEFULLY THIS MEANS IT’S DEAD. And ayamepso's most recent deviation was posted on June 23, 2015 so that is a really, really good sign of this comic staying dead.

UPDATE: ayamepso is putting new artwork on her DeviantArt page again, but of cartoons unrelated to this one.

Art review
The art in this comic is, by far, the best part about it. On every page, ayamepso writes “do not trace or steal”, and I can see why: She has completely mastered the Sonic Art Style (and has probably had problems with art theft in the past). Too bad the comic isn’t about actual Sonic Characters, though… Then we might actually have something. Also, she’s not too bad with people either…but she usually draws humanoid versions of this comic’s characters.



Writing review
Okay, let’s talk about Lilith. I’ve already pointed out that she’s this comic’s Mary-Sue, but she is also the most bipolar one I’ve come across. A Bipolar Sue, if you will. She goes from homicidal maniac to cutesy girly girl in THE SECOND PAGE WE SEE HER IN. And this isn’t a one time thing—she flip flops all the time. Look, ayamepso, make her cute and naïve, or manipulative and seductive, but you can’t have both at the same time! What could have worked is having this evil Dr. Robotnik Hedgehog implant his twisted world view on her. That way she would start out as a bubbly idiot, and then slowly transform into a psychotic monster. But, nope. We have to sit through her frequent and illogical mood swings. Granted, this could be intentional… Since, you know, Eva from the first few pages appears to be Lilith’s good half…or something. But this is just not very well implemented.

I could talk about Robotnik Wannabe…but he’s just a creepy shut-in who can’t make up his mind if he’s evil or not. King Kratos? He’s just a pervy guy who takes advantage of his wife’s love and trust. Everyone else is one-dimensional and forgettable. And while there are exceptions, every character barely bats an eye at stuff that would normally be a big deal, but make a big deal out of things that are not worth batting an eye over.

Seriously…this comic gives more reason to root for the Echidnas…and they’re the bad guys! (Except for Professor Sly. He’s so psychotic he’s a freaking riot.)

Lastly…there are some continuity errors throughout due to various cameos actual Sonic characters make. Like, I get Silver since he can time travel or something, but Rouge and Shadow? Those two are very Sonic-Time-Period specific! How are they showing up when Sonic isn’t out of diapers yet? I just…whaaa…?

Bad Translation
By far, my favorite part of this comic is the poor translation. I get the feeling this comic would be better in its original language, Spanish, but some of this dialogue makes it all worth it. My personal favorite is “I’m an useless”, but some other great ones are “I’m gonna punch you outta here!”, [http://ayamepso.deviantart.com/art/sonic-comic-english-page331-287174716 “Grandpaaaa!! My honey and I were #$@# .]”, “Why did I had to have a son like that, he even gaves me Lucifer stare…”, “Does this mean that I already manage this that you said it was for retard novices, my love?”, and [http://ayamepso.deviantart.com/art/sonic-comic-english-page368-331281300 “How cute! You were dreaming with your adorable mother”]. Can we make some of these a thing? Please?

Also, this comic has random Japanese in it. This doesn’t make sense to me, seeing as this comic was originally in Spanish.

Author biography
ayamepso is Spanish, but I can find nothing else about her.

Conclusion
One complaint I’ve heard against Naruto is that it has too many flashbacks. I remember hearing that complaint and thinking “Why? Flashbacks offer great opportunities to further develop characters by delving into their past.” This comic taught me how badly flashbacks can be done.

I mean, wow. The entire comic is a flashback that never ends. First problem with this: Doctor Robotnik is invading the land, all of Sonic’s non-canon friends are in danger, and Sonic, Sonic’s Clone, and Kratos the Hedgehog are all about to be EATEN BY TRIBAL ECHIDNAS. Now is not the time to sit down and flashback for the rest of eternity! Second problem with this: the flashback is not in first person point of view, but third person. That barely makes sense as it is, but it gets worse when the entire flashback is focusing on Robotnik Wannabe and his psychotic bipolar girlfriend. That means there are plenty scenes, situations, and scenarios in which King Kratos shouldn’t know anything about. And to add insult to injury, there are plenty of times in the comic where there are several flashbacks in the flashback which show how flashbacks are SUPPOSED TO BE DONE. I mean WOW. This comic has the worst usage of flashbacks I’ve ever seen.

But I’m not gonna lie: in better hands and with better characters, this might have been a great comic. It certainly has the potential. But there are too many characters, most of which aren’t properly developed, and our two main leads are a bipolar bimbo and a creepy shut-in. Again, in better hands, this could have worked. But it doesn’t. However, I still recommend reading it. It’s “so bad it’s good” territory. This comic is almost worth reading for the terrible translation alone. AMAZINGLY terrible!



One last thing before I finish this review... My friend just found the first 222 pages. And they’re all in Spanish.

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SCREW IT! I'M DONE.

UPDATE: The bad English language version is gone, but the original Spanish version still exists on ayemepso's DeviantArt page. Wonder if a Spanish speaker might take a look at it and see how good or bad it is.

Links

 * ayamepso also has a FurAffinity account
 * And a YouTube account