User:ZenForce

Just a comic enthusiast that also writes fiction when my brain is not a chaos of ideas, which is really strange that not happen. -- List of Reviews:
 * Antibunny
 * Darwin Carmichael is Going to Hell
 * Syd's World
 * Moonlace (Warning: NSFW)
 * Cigarro & Cerveja
 * Bongo and Luna
 * School Days (Warning: NSFW, or anyone in general)
 * Target Miss (Warning: NSFW, or anyone in general)
 * Boyfriends

Collaborations:
 * Rascals (Images)

--

--

Rating Summary

--

Background
This comic was bring up in the forum by a user called Cinnayanny, calling it like not an aggressively bad webcomic, but a “uniquely type of bad” webcomic. Since is a really short one, I decided to read it entirely and check how true these statements are. Not only discovered that all that she said is true, but (for my surprise) there are even more problems than she described. So let’s see the problems of this…

Downfall
The technical downfall is between the second half of the second chapter and the third chapter, but my personal downfall is the third page, where we see the protagonist crying because his DS’s battery died. Yeah, we start strong here...

Story and Plot
We follow the life of Lomax Torchstone, a 17 old edgy crybaby loner trapped in the most boring town in the history (aka Silverdalen), until his professor of physics, Dan Rogers, recruits him with piece of magic glass (called Raiment) for some type of paranormal exterminators of “Matter-horners”, creatures that the best way to describe them is Sirenhead-like type of monsters, but instead of sirens they have geometric obsidian objects for head. From here we follow their adventures full of mysteries, battles, betrayal, coming-of age, long scenes of walking and talking, and more for 6 chapters and 305 pages. These chapters are:

Chapter 1/0: Shard/Up is the Only Way We meet Lomax and see how “miserable” is his life, how he meet his teacher and his first transformation.

Things to highlight:


 * The first three pages are used for a zoom out of this strange machine. It looks important, not? Well, we not see this machine again until the sixth chapter.
 * The before mentioned DS’s cry scene.
 * Apparently Lomax it’s in a major that he doesn’t like because their parent forced him to do it. Sounds like exigent parents, but later this fact is totally contradicted.
 * The delivery of the magical object. Put a pin in the runes that has the box, it will mentioned again later.
 * This dream sequence. It will repeat the entire comic.
 * The first magical girl transformation of the protagonist. Oh, and get used to see Lomax crying. We will see it a lot.
 * The protagonist calls Dan for help.
 * It’s the only chapter that has double number and double title. I’m not sure why.

Chapter 2: Pierced by Starlight Lomax fights his first monster, and we see the series of events that derived in this battle.

Things to highlight:


 * We meet the father of Lomax. The mother appeared in the first chapter, and combined with this scene shows that both are the normal type of parents. So the whinny attitude of the protagonist is more unjustified.
 * This last minute news about a seven years old dead girl. Pin this too, it will be mentioned later.
 * Lomax collides with a creepy, in trench coat man. Remember this face; it will be a recurrent character.
 * This page may or may not imply that Dan is pedophile. It’s at your guess.
 * Lomax encounters a golden ring that it belongs to Dan. Pin this too; the reason of why this ring exists has no fucking sense.
 * Dan does a little of info dumping about the monsters, the Raiment and why is he there. Later Dan trains him a little to control the shard.
 * Lomax discovers with his powers that Dan apparently is disappearing. It’s a little early to say it, but fuck it; this disappearing is the cause of death of this guy. The reason of why he is disappearing will appear in the sixth chapter.
 * Lomax’s first mission: Kill this cube thing. Lomax almost dies because he is paralyzed of fear, and the only reason that he is alive is because of a deus ex machina. Also this battle is a little confusing because it interludes between the past and the present.
 * Lomax ended in the hospital. At first it looks that his crybaby attitude tone down because of the trauma, but looking the later chapters it confirm that is only an illusion.

Chapter 3: Hazy After the hospitalization, Lomax explores a little his powers, and while in he is in another monsters extermination mission, meets with another mysterious raiment user that tries to kill him.

Things to highlight:


 * We meet Sosanna and Elin, a pair of paranormal investigators. They are not of much relevance, except for two things: They work the guy the trench coat man, and that Sosanna plays a mod of Dark Souls.
 * This shonen anime. Apparently this show inspires him to be a hero, or some shit like that…
 * The power of the raiment cures all the bones in a really impressive speed. Pretty convenient for his next mission, not?
 * We meet this other raiment user, trying to kill Lomax. Put another pin for this woman. I forgot to tell that Dan sends Lomax alone to this mission, because he was late, so this save is really convenient too. Pin the entire mission with tardy arrival to the list too.
 * Lomax confesses what he views in the second chapter to Dan.
 * scene confirms that the trench coat man has some type of connection with Dan.
 * The before mentioned ring it turns out that is a communicator. Also is the first appearance of Master Ari. She explains about the fading of Dan, saying that is a side effect of the raiment. Pin this side effect.
 * We see the reason of why Dan is doing what he is doing. Is his big brother, and he is dead. The reason he is dead is explained in the sixth chapter, and is very stupid now I remember.

Chapter 4: Blue Dan and Lomax go in another hunting mission in Central Park and meets a blue haired raiment user that Dan mistrust of him.

Things to highlight:


 * We start with the same dream scene of before. Well, is a little different now, but is practically the same one.
 * The plan of Dan for clear the zone for Lomax. He is really lucky that the police are the slowest of the entire country, because in any other place you would already have them in your ass in question of minutes.
 * We meet the blue haired raiment user Lewi Kanzinshy, aka the hot dog guy. We will go to expand about him in the writing section, but for now my only question is: Why he is the only raiment user that has a boob window in their costume? Because he is literally the only one in the entire comic.
 * Dan entrust Lomax to watch the new guy, because he don’t trust him. This leads us into a really long scene of both bonding that I had to inject myself coffee in the veins for keep me awake. Also this bonding time it transforms into a super close relationship that comes of nowhere in like, what, three pages? Oh wow! What a good character development, I applaud you!!! Oh, and the reason of how obtain the raiment I because he entered in the forbidden excavation zone and encounter the piece of shard in the ground. What a joke.
 * The trench coat man is start to planning to confront the duo personally.
 * Except for some things there and here, this chapter fells like a chapter filler.

Chapter 5: The Conductor We finally met the real enemy, and we see the real colors of Dan.

Things to highlight:


 * The trench coat man pays a visit to Dan. . Yeah, that was his plan… Also, he is the father of him, and apparently had something to do with Marcus’s death, either directly or indirectly.
 * Dan has another videocall of Master Ari. He’s in the line of begin “fired” from whatever he is involved, if you understand what I mean. She gives a second opportunity to Dan, but also prepares a plan B, because she realized that Dan is not reliable.
 * Lewi gives a tour to Lomax around Silverdalen. This is an excuse for some more infodumping that will not be used. The only thing that important about all this boring exposition is that archeological excavations are forbidden because the government wanted to hide something from the public. Pin this information too.
 * Dan makes a call to Lomax for a reunion. Later in the chapter, the blue haired guy sows the seed of doubt about Dan, but I believe it was unnecessary because how strange it was his requests.
 * Lewi guides Lomax to “The Library”, a cave full of runes. Before you ask, no, it will not have any repercussion for what’s left of the comic at all.
 * Lomax arrives to the reunion, and confesses the truth about his reason of being there. Here he tells us that the ring is symbols of an organization called “The Circle”, and confess that he is part of them and he was using him.
 * Master Ari and her two henchmen arrive conveniently to interrupt their reunion. Basically this starts a battle for survival, since they only need the raiment. this battle is revealed that Dan also is raiment user too, and his power is summon Matter-horners. This implies that Dan is was training him and not hunting monsters. Also apparently summoning these monsters is the cause of his fading.
 * Both of the teens are saved for the purple raiment user, in a really convenient way. Also both of them fainted meanwhile the saving. Because of this, Master Ari has temper stratum and takes it out with the entire city.

Chapter 6 The outcome of the rescue of the duo.

Things to highlight:
 * The purple raiment woman arrives to the workplace of Sosanna and Elin. We discover that the woman is the father of Dan... WHAT?
 * We discover the Nil. Basically is some type ancient internet where you can access through dreams.
 * The… Soul? Of Dan tells his past. . Apparently he and Marcus were ended orphans because an accident; they were adopted by Walt (the trench coat) and Martha, his wife; they ended divorcing because he was absorbed for his work; and Marcus took it out with the machine, end ended disintegrated for it. Another pin.
 * An ethereal voice helps him to back to conscious. It’s the same voice of the second chapter. Lomax also gives the bad news about his son to Walt.
 * The end of this is with the dream, but this time Lomax doesn’t drown. Let’s not forget that Lomax is like 24hs out house, without notify his parents anything. This will the last pin for today.

Art Review
When someone says that something is an eyecandy, this comic is one example of it. The colors, the shading, the effects, how the panels are distributed, the backgrounds, and the covers; there almost nothing bad about art that you can complain… Well, except for one thing: the character design. In specific in four characters:


 * 1) Lomax: If you readied the third page, you notice that he has really thick eyelids. The question is: why he has them? These things are out of tune with the rest of the characters design, since the only other character that has them is his father. Nobody else has them, not even THE ONLY THREE FEMALE CHARACTERS OF THE ENTIRE COMIC. Perhaps the author wanted a girly looking protagonist? If this is the case, then I say: Go full femboy or don’t do it, don’t stay halfway.
 * 2) The cat: Look at him, look at the eyes: Don’t looks like he will be an important character, like a sidekick or something? Well, no. That cat is only a background character. So why gave him so detailed and humanoid looking eyes, if will not important for the story? It would seem that in any moment will stand on two legs and start singing. I believe that the author realized this, because later appearances of this cat is always or with closed eyes, or backwards, or with the head outside the panel.
 * 3) The blue haired guy: Again, WHY THE BOOB WINDOW?!
 * 4) Walt/The purple raiment: No matter how much I read and re-read the comic, I still can’t believe that these two characters are the same person. He is the only raiment that happens this; the rest of them maintain the gender and body structure. The comic never explains why or how this happens.

Writing Review
Now here is where the real shitstorm starts. Let’s begin with the protagonist. He is basically an edgy loner who can’t seem to even speak to other people... not exactly a character you want to emphasize or root for. The worst is that there is no justification for this attitude: his parents are not pressing him to study all day or anything; there is no bully or people judge whispering; or anything in his environment to have this depression. The pressure of the school, maybe? He says that he didn’t wanted to be in a science major, but for my view, is not because his parents forced him to study that career, but his parents suggested that career and he accepted it, just because he is incapable of say no. It’s the most logic conclusion by looking his attitude in the entire comic. And don’t make me start with all the times he cries. The comic literally starts with main character crying for DS’s battery died, BECAUSE THE DS’S BATTERY DIED!!! Man, grow some balls. The only valid reason to cry for a console is because your saved game gets corrupted and leaves your console useless. The only character that I can think when I saw Lomax is Shinji from Neon Genesis Evagelion, but at least Shinji don’t shows that he is a coward in the first episode! This makes that the finale feels empty, because it does not feel that the protagonist deserves this end.

But the problems don’t stops with Lomax, next we will talk is Lewi. There two problems with him: First, his friendship with the protagonist comes out of nowhere. Like, in the end of the battle where he is introduced they have a relationship comparable with months of knowing each other, and at the end of the comic, protagonist and new dude have a super close relationship that comes out of nowhere. And guess what? I don't care about this blue fucker! I have no reason to care about him or his interactions with the protagonist; and that is the second problem, he is a zero to the left for the plot, doesn’t add anything to it. He is literally used for only two things: being a joke because his keyword is ass, and shows Lomax the surroundings of Silverdale (apparently is a country, what the fuck?), thing that could do it Dan. Hell, it would have been infinitely better if in this chapter Dan showed that he is a raiment user, a not in the fifth chapter. Is that irrelevant this guy. Talking about Dan, until you come to the fourth chapter, you will spend thinking of why his teacher randomly gives to the crybaby a shard of magic glass and makes him to defend the local town. But even with the explication, don’t answers the question of why him, or why he don’t another solution that involving killing himself by summoning the monsters. I can continue ranting the rest of characters, but it will go forever, so let’s go to the final point.

Finally we have the pacing, the length and the finale of the comic. As you will have noticed, this is coming-of-age story, but also noticed that has 305 pages and six chapters. Is few, too few for a type of story, because doesn’t leaves you for much developing. How you solve this problem? Well, not speed upping the pacing like it was chased. The start is really slow, looking half of the pages with Lomax moping and being a whiny bitch, but around the second half of the second chapter to the third chapter the writer gets real sick of writing it, and starts speedrunning the end of a comic. This disinterest of the author it denoted with the sixth chapter because 1) Is the chapter with the lesser pages of all; 2) The chapter is not even named; and 3) ) the author don’t even bother to do a hotlink for it in the archive. But at the same time, somehow the pacing feels glaciar at some points of this acceleration. I guess is because the comic spends so much time making the character wander and talking, and interesting moments are really short. How the hell you can do this, for accident?

Talking about the finale, the ending is by far my least favorite part. Mostly because it's not an ending. It's a climax, a sequel setup. We've practically lost the school roots. And leaves lots of questions without answers. What questions? Well, let’s bring the pins here: What is for the runes, since the only thing that we see doing is glow with the shards, what are the important things? What does it have to do this 7 years old girl with the cult? And why this little girl it was in an archaeological area alone? Why a cult, organizations know for use worthless things for manipulate their members, gives golden rings for symbols? Why not a glass ring, what it would have more sense with theme of the same? Why Walt is the only raiment user that changes gender with the transformation? Is Dan panted this monster and hides to save him in last moment; or planted the monster, goes to his house, and comes back to the site? Why are there clues that both things happened? Why Dan is the only one has the side effect, since the rest of raiment users spam their powers and don’t have it? Since the government of the site is interested in occult the secrets of the archeological excavations, why they don’t put special security patrolling the zone? Why Marcus fault the machine and his father for their divorce? Why the parents of Lomax stopped appearing from the third chapter, even though they are an integral part of his character development? None of this questions have answers, and that are the questions I that remember. What a good finale, not?

Author Biography
I tried, okay? I tried to find information about M. Falke, but the only things that I found about him I his Pinterest, where it says that he is a cartoonist, illustrator, game artist and “all-round creative person”; and the twitter of the comic. But there is no more about him or her… It looks like the author came out of the ground, spawned the comic, and comes back to that ground hole.

Conclusion
The best reflection for this comic it will the next one: You found a gold nugget in the flood, you grab it, and then you discover something strange with the nugget, you scratch them a little, and discover that your dog ate a Ferrero Rocher. If ever there will be a sequel, I doubt anyone will interested in it. At least I’m not.

Links

 * TVTropes page of the webcomic
 * Twitter of the webcomic

And since the not much else, I will list the artists than been featured in the webcomic with guess comics:


 * This one and this one is done by Clairie Duffy.
 * This one, this one and this one is done by Bergzeker.
 * This one is done by Willim.
 * This one is done by Mr. Domon.
 * This one is done by Wendy Lian Martin.
 * This one is done by Anna Landin.
 * This one is done by Koti Saveedra.
 * This one is done by Eyugho.
 * This one is done by Don.